New Life

Recently, I had a bad dream which was similar to the one that my senior pastor had before.. It was about contracting AIDS from a fling with someone whom I do not know. It was a dream that was so scary that I hated it so much and it felt so real.. When I woke up from that dream, fear started to drop into my mind and heart. And that feeling was so totally awful.

The devil was trying to set fear into my heart coz of my past that I had and for many years, I was so darn afraid of knowing the truth. I asked the Lord to help me and give me the courage to go for a blood test. Seriously, the feeling was totally terrible and the fear was really strong that my blood pressure shot up high again.

I started to understand the pain that those people who went through this dreaded fear and got devastated with the results of their blood tests. There are people who had gone on to the Internet to read up more on the symptoms and effects. Well, I wasn't spared of that dreaded fear either.. The fear got worst after reading the articles in the Internet. Darn..

I prayed to the Lord for courage to go for the blood test as I really wanted to know the truth. I regretted my pasts so much that the devil knew how to use it as a weapon against me. So, I plucked up the courage one day recently and went to a clinic nearby my home. I'm totally amazed that the courage came into my heart to ask the doctor for such test. I intended to see the doctor only for my cough which lasted quite long. This courage must have come from God.

Well, the wait for the results is another terror moment. My mind was so distracted that I didn't have any mood for work or even my daily swim. I dreaded the wait for the results that my doctor will inform me and the wait was simply @&@!*$*.. Finally, the call came.........

My heart was racing rapidly and my doctor told me the news... I was soooooooo relieved and my heart was finally set free from this fear and I was weeping with joy.. I told the Lord that I will never want to waste my life away like the past. He gave me a new life and I'm treasuring this new life. This kind of experience was a life-transforming one for me that I told Jesus that I want to fully concentrate and be serious in the relationship with Him. He had fixed me up that I don't want to throw my life away like I used to..

Previously, I had never treasured my life until the stupid lifestyle that I had years ago.. That really woke me up and I started to live life as much as possible. Right now, with this new life, all the more that I want is to live a life meaningfully. Right now, there is no more fear in my heart and I can really live my life to the fullest. I truly thank God for this blessing..