Not about taking away

Praise Jesus and truly all glory to Him.. :D Recently, I was down with a pretty severe health problem. It started last Tue nite when I came down with a very bad headache. I couldn't sleep the entire nite and ended up taking a day off on Wed.. My head was spinning and my heart beat was beating super fast (sorta felt very anxious). Well, I was super mad with my vendor on Tue and from then, the headache came. I thought prob a rest on Wed will help ease my stress at work but Thur came..

The headache didn't go and my head was still spinning on Thursday. I was praying to Daddy God to take away all my sicknesses and diseases. I even prayed in tongues and did all I could to get Daddy God to take away the pain. Well, nothing happened then.. When I reached the office, my colleagues told me to see a doctor as I looked very pale. So, I went over to the doctor in the afternoon and he took my blood pressure. He was very concerned as my blood pressure shot up to 180/110.

WOW!! That was dangerously high. He told me to go home immediately to rest, gave me some medication and told me to go back on Friday. I went back home after that and took the medication before I slept. But, instead of sleeping on, I told Daddy God that I want to go to church to listen to the message and also to serve. And also asked Daddy God to take away my sicknesses and diseases.. Praise God. He strengthened me after my rest at home and I managed to go to church, though I was sorta gasping for air. I didn't tell much to anyone in my usher team of my health problem (except for one who was serving with me) and trusted God to heal me.

During the praise and worship, I felt much better and was so touched that my teammate whom I told her of my condition that I believed she prayed for me. Amazingly, I felt much better during the service and I was so touched by the love of Jesus. Right after the service, I headed on to fetch my sis-in-law and the 2 kids home. When I reached home, I fell flat on the bed and slept through the night.

Friday came and I went back to the doctor. He measured my blood pressure again and it didn't drop. It was still very high and he put me on 2-weeks of medication for hypertension. I was so sad that I had to take this medication. But I told the Lord that He will heal me for sure and I'll be out of medication soon. My entire day was kindda dark and I started to have negative thoughts. After office, I told my mom and she was worried too... However, I told myself that hey.. I'm not going to give up.. Jesus did not give up on me and He paid the price for my health and wholeness. I cannot give up. So what if I were to be on medication. It's not the end of the world. Well, I took an early rest and slept throughout the night.

Saturday came and my head was still spinning. It was my first day to start on the medication and the medicine took effect a little while later. But it wasn't so effective. I started to feel so tired and restless and I asked the Lord what happened. Didn't have any promptings then. So, right after that, I messaged to my mom's caregroup leader and my children church's team leader for keeping me in prayer. My mom's caregrp leader messaged me back with so many verses and my heart simply melted coz that's the time I felt so loved by Jesus Himself. I started to take the Holy Communion and told the Lord that I do not want to take it as a ritual or a routine but to remember His death for me.

Afternoon moved in and I went over to my mom's caregroup meeting to fetch her. We later headed on to Toa Payoh to walk and realised that I felt so much better after walking and getting my dinner. For the past few days, my appetite simply dropped and my weight dropped pretty fast. I was a little concerned but I just told the Lord that I cannot be concerned about it anymore. I kept confessing His Love for me that He bore all my sicknesses and diseases at the cross. After that, I felt a little better but my heart was still pumping very fast.

After the evening walk, we headed home and I took the Holy Comm again. I felt a little more peaceful and then rested early as I'll be serving in the Sunday School on Sunday. Sunday came and it had been an awesome morning. Though I was breathless, the Lord gave me the strength to continue serving. It was really so supernatural. After my serving, I had lunch with my family. But things went bad as I had a big fight with my brother. I was so super mad with him that I simply walked away from all of them and scolded him that he was the worst brother I had in my life. (well.. long story abt that and do not wish to talk abt it...)

After that, I started to feel dizzy and found a place to rest. I told the Lord, to deal with this matter. My mom and sis-in-law became so worried about me that they kept calling me. I refused to answer any of their calls and just simply refused to talk to anyone. The Lord prompted my heart to go home with my mom and I just followed that prompting. I was so upset that day and felt so tired. During then, I wished I was dead but I can't coz of my mom..

To forget the incident, I went on to bed and slept. Next day, I woke up early and went to the nearby park for a morning walk. Well, I was feeling very dizzy but didn't care. I prayed in tongues throughout my walk and continued. After the walk, it was time for work but my head was still on air. So, I decided to go to my usual doctor again.

This time round, my doctor took my blood pressure again and he was very very worried. He refused to let me go off and gave me another medication and made me to rest on the resting bed. Well, I took this time to sleep a little longer and prayed a little in tongues. During this rest, my heart became more peaceful. After an hr, I went back to his office and he measured my blood pressure. Praise Jesus.. The new medication had better effect and I felt so much better. Right after this, my doctor gave me a new set of medication. However, I felt so drained as well. My throat and mouth were so dry that I drank a lot of water. I couldn't care less and just continued to drink. At night, I took the Holy Communion again and had my night prayers.

Tuesday came and as I was walking to my office, I listened to a message that Pastor Prince had preached on recently. Suddenly, the message about asking God to take away things/sicknesses/diseases that we do not want is not what exactly God wants us to do. My heart suddenly opened to the message of knowing that I am the righteousness of God in Christ and seeing Jesus on the cross that He took all my sicknesses and diseases. After listening to that, I was totally at peace and my heart was so peaceful. Then, I told the Lord that now it is not about asking Him to take away the unwanted things surrounding me. It is about Jesus' perfect finished work on the cross that gave me all the blessings and wholeness and completeness in my body as well as my family..

So, I started to have this thought throughout until today. I went to see my doctor again today coz I had a very bad flu. I was teasing my doctor and we laughed. He took my blood pressure again and he was very happy that it remained normal (although I took the new medication daily). Well, I believed that I am already healed and it is not about asking Daddy God to take away my sicknesses and diseases. It is about the finished work of Jesus that I am healthy. It is about seeing Jesus on the cross who carried all my diseases. I was so happy that I thank God for His goodness to me during this moment. Though I took mc today, I am still very happy and I know I am already healed and I will be out of medication soon.

Okie, whatever it is, really.. Trust Him that He will surround you with His Glory and no evil can come near you. Have a good opinion of God and it really pays off. It may be hard to do (as I first find it so..) but continue to trust in Him. It is not about asking God to take away.. It is about looking at the cross and seeing Jesus bearing all the sicknesses and diseases. All the glory to Jesus forever!! :)